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Looking for War/Getting to Know Each Other

The BBC produced an overview of historical events in modern Iraq, starting in 1920 when Iraq was placed under the British mandate, and ending with the recent U.N. Security Council resolution recognizing the U.S.-led administration in the country. CLICK HERE

Another BBC timeline examines the rule of Saddam Hussein. CLICK HERE.

The fighting was distant and very limited. When the Turkish Parliament did the unexpected thing and accurately reflected the will of its constituents by refusing to allow the U.S. to base its soldiers in Turkey, the prospect of a real Northern Front in the war was effectively ended.

During the day, Ahmad and I drove all around the Kurdish autonomous region trying to find out what had happened along the front. It was relatively safe to travel. The various cease-fire agreements that ended the first Gulf War created a de facto Kurdish entity protected by the American and British Air forces as part of the northern no-fly zone. It took Kurdish political leaders almost a decade to stop fighting each other and make the most of the situation. As this war started there was good security cooperation between the two main Kurdish groups, the Kurdistan Democratic Party and Patriotic Union of Kurdistan. There were frequent security checkpoints along the roads. So long as you didn't go for a walk in any of Kurdistan's beautiful emerald green pastures, which were littered with landmines, you were safe.

Michael shares a Kurdish meal. (Photo: M. Goldfarb)

On these trips, Ahmad and I had plenty of time to get to know each other. The outline of his life was extraordinary. My translator was a former biology lecturer at the University of Mosul, his hometown; the author of seven books ranging in subject matter from archaeology and psychology to fiction; a frequent contributor to Arabic newspapers; and a regular occupant of Saddam's torture chambers, which is why he was living in Erbil as a political refugee. He is also the father of eight children, grandfather of six. And despite his personal travails, his home is full of laughter.

Ahmad invited me for lunch one day. Twenty miles away there was a war going on, but in Erbil the more pleasant aspects of life, entertaining guests to a good meal, carried on.

In the kitchen, his wife was preparing dolma: stuffed eggplant, peppers and cucumbers, and giving orders to her two daughters. Ahmad's wife is called Um Sindibad, which means "Mother of Sindibad." Like most traditional Arab women, she prefers to be identified as the mother of her first born son, Sindibad.

Lunch at Ahmad's house. Everybody looks more serious than they really were. From left to right are his daughter Roa, his wife Um Sindibad, and two of his sons. Rafat and Sindibad. (Photo: M. Goldfarb)

The house is modest; after all, this is a home of exile. There is a courtyard with lemon and orange trees, a couple of rooms on the first floor a couple of rooms on the second. Not a lot of space for eight people. But then when the family fled Mosul they didn't bring many possessions to take up space.

We sat on the floor in the furnitureless living room that also doubles as Ahmad's bedroom and study. The whole family gathered around a mat. Sindibad made an alcohol-free toast expressing the wish that our next lunch together would be in Mosul.

And we fell to devouring the delicious food. In addition to a mountain of dolma, there was a bowl of thick tomato and okra soup and a light chicken broth and a couple of roast chickens plus plates of chopped tomatoes and cucumber. Oh, and rice and bread. Arab hospitality is a very real phenomenon.

Ahmad's family is a cosmopolitan mix of Iraqi culture and ethnicity. He is secular. His wife and children are devout Muslims. Ahmad is Kurdish. Um Sindibad is Arab. The couple met when Ahmad was teaching. Um Sindibad was his student. They flaunted local convention and married for love. Ahmad's wife said she knew from the beginning that life would not be easy, but adds "without problems life wouldn't be interesting."

Local fighters pose atop an abandoned Iraqi tank. (Photo: M. Goldfarb)

Mosul was the main topic of discussion at lunch. Mosul is still home. Mosul is just an hour's drive away but after seven years in exile in Erbil, going back had Ahmad's son Sindibad apprehensive. He feared going back there because, he said, "The great problems are going to arise after war."

But first the war had to be won. Slowly, the effect of the intense combat in the south was having its effect in the north. The Iraqi army began to pull back from its positions. The Peshmerga occupied the territory the army gave up. Ahmad's dream of returning to Mosul was coming closer to reality.

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